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Peter Weir's 1975 Picnic at Hanging Rock is all about the disappearance of three privileged girls from a private school in Victoria in the very early 20th Century. It relates but never explains how they vanish on a day trip after walking up that eponymous rock, but it is more about the pulsating, crushing power of lust, adolescence and class when forced together in an hourglass of colonial repression and, in similar vein to Nicolas Roeg's 1971 Walkabout, whether men are capable of coping with the torrid vicissitudes of unfamiliar environments be they natural or urban.
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As part of another raft of measures designed to protect the ECB's commercial partners, Giles Clarke today vowed to 'unleash hell' against all spectators who fail to drink 'at least a litre' of Buxton water while watching England. In his latest attempt to 'defend our hugely vulnerable corporate family to the death', Clarke also announced that fans must drive to England games only in Jaguars and that any supporter found to be using a weight lifting supplement other than Maximuscle to shrink their genitals would be immediately barred from English county grounds for life.
After
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His dashing, angelic looks make him more of a Dorian Gray, but in truth it's hard not to think of Shahid Afridi as the Benjamin Button of ODI batting given the splendour with which he began his career and the hair-pulling frustration that some of his recent immature knocks have produced. Wednesday's stump splaying dismissal to James Anderson was yet another piece of reckless self and team immolation that fans of both Pakistan and Hants have become increasingly familiar with over the past year or so. Just how boring can batting for your nation be that a 31-year-old man gets
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The all new, slinkily produced and nurtured Radio Cricket Ep. 7 is now available to nibble deliciously at your ears. In it, Altcricket and I discuss his trip to Kenya to promote HIV awareness through cricket and assess England's stodgy feet against the Pakistan spin attack in the Tests and who, if anyone, might be Andy Flower's men's saviour in the upcoming ODI series. We also discuss the apparent closed door policy of the IPL towards Pakistan players and muse on the early life of the new Bangladesh Premier League with its innovative approach to opening ceremonies.
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Mumbai, Thursday - A cock-a-hoop BCCI chief N Srinivasan last night announced that former England manager Fabio Capello will be taking over from Duncan Fletcher as India coach with immediate effect. Despite overseeing one of the most successful periods of Indian cricket, in which his fabled technical expertise has solidified Rahul Dravid's once parlous defence and reinvigorated the previously stodgy off side play of VVS Laxman, Fletcher will leave his job today, quite possibly on a Go Kart.
Despite having also been in charge at Milan, Real Madrid and Roma, Capello said - in already near-perfect Hindi
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A collection of satirical efforts written for both Pavilion Opinions and Alternative Cricket (AC). If you found any of them half as amusing as some of Brad Haddin's batting this year then please do pass on. Cheers!
On the BCCI sponsorship crisis: Mitt Romney to sponsor Team India
On cricket's technological advances: Introducing the Pepsi Max Mindmic™
On India's left field training regime (AC): BCCI clampdown -Dhoni fined for six laps an hour Go Kart go slow
On the Saeed Ajmal's action and austerity
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Following the collapse of their present sponsorship deal with Sahara India Parivar, the BCCI have announced that permahaired Republican presidential cardigan Mitt Romney will become the new financial partner of Indian cricket. Romney, whose wealth is estimated to be 'equal to or even greater' than that of Ravindra Jadeja, has signed a $40m deal which will see his prematurely embalmed face emblazoned across the shirts of all IPL players apart from Mitchell Johnson, who the Mormon ex-Massachusetts governor has specifically requested bowl his overs in a 'Gingrich 2012!' tank top whilst reading aloud from Going Rogue, the subtle
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Introducing the Pepsi Max Mindmic™
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